February 1st

Today we headed off around 8am, bit of a lay in. Made the day feel a lot longer though. Started raining about 11am so we headed back for an early lunch, again just made the day feel longer! We do get a long time for lunch though, good couple of hours. Had food, and then me, Katya and Neil were asked to go to the main house each separately for like an induction talk thing. Katya first, hers was fine and they basically just asked her how long she wanted to stay.

Mine however was a different story.. now I always knew that I was probably gonna struggle a bit with manual labour style farm work due to my size and all that, I'll be fair, I'm not denying it. However, we've only done one days work and I tried really hard! So basically, he said to me - it seems like you're struggling, like you're unhappy and you're not joining in with the group. Well I'm not unhappy for one.. I can't say I'm ecstatic and that this is my ideal job but the people here are cool and its nice to get a little down time from big city! I am struggling a little bit to keep up with the pace of the group, we are doing bloody hard work and I'm trying my hardest. And as for the group I'm joining in perfectly well with all aspects, I think the only reason he said that is because when he came up whilst we were on lunch I was dozing on the sofa. Sod it, surely we can do what we like with our break! Anyway I told them both all of the above, (minus that last little bit) and we said we'll see how it goes and review it again in a few days.

I'm thinking I will prob stay for just one week, thats $150 and so it covers my costs and things? Maybe. The main reason I was doing farm work in the first place was to extend my visa, and I'm thinking maybe I don't want to do that anymore? I wanted to stay here for two years so that I could keep travelling for longer, but I might just get a working visa for New Zealand when my Aussie one runs out. Maybe I'm just not cut out for the farm work? Definitely not on a farm where they judge me after just one days work anyway.

Either way, when we went back to work this afternoon I tried *really* hard so hey. Probably still wasn't good enough. However, during the afternoons work, Neil decided he was leaving tomorrow. In his induction thing they basically had said they didn't think he should stay much longer and gave him a book on farm work to help him find another job. Theres basically a personality clash thing going on there, they don't get along with him and vice versa. But anyway I think he's going tomorrow, which is a shame, but two new german girls are coming at some point during the week.

Have just been down to the main house to send an email, thats basically all we're allowed to do. Sent one to mum and one to Zara. Haven't spoken to mum since Thursday night, aka Thursday morning her time, and she's probably not too appreciative of the lack of contact although its not my fault anyway :p Looking forward to being back in touch with everyone, I miss it! When I had my induction thing earlier it really knocked me and made me feel pretty shitty for the first time since getting to Australia, and missing everyone is part of it I guess!

Making dinner soon, potatoes, beans, salad and something else tonight I think. Can't remember. Sitting here writing this has made me decide to definitely leave after one week, I'm not enjoying it so whats the point in being here? I'll leave one week older, one week wiser and $150 richer - worth it? Probably not :p